|The Corby Quote
Random words of wisdom overheard on
The Corby Show by Corb, his Callers, Lehner, and Bradley.
"I don't want to work either, that's why I do this" -- Corb
"I've never forgiven Jackie Mason for Caddy Shack 2" -- Corb
"You don't really get smart as a guy until you're in your 30's after your first divorce." -- Corb
"I'd like to have six or seven guys to do my job for me. It would probably sound like hell, but atleast I wouldn't have to do it" -- Corb
"Everytime they talk about someone getting to carry a gun, they're
worried about us turning into RAMBO, it's driving me crazy!" --
"I don't need colons jammed down my throat every morning!" -- Corb commenting on Katie Couric's colon crusade
"The world is changing and that's why I plan on being at the farm with a fence around it in about 5 years." -- Corb
"How 'bout this 911 thing.... Remember how we were all so nice to eachother for three or four weeks? I wanna go back to that." -- Corb
"Why should we expect the Olympics to be honest? You have to cheat and bribe to get the games to begin with!" -- Corb
"I get e-mails of penis enlargers, like eight times a day.... what's up with that?" -- Corb
"If ya didn't have clear shot at one of the referees, then you you shouldn't have slung a beer bottle" -- A Caller commenting on the bottle-throwing incident at the Browns game when an illegal recall of a play was made by inept referees with seconds left to play near the end of the game.
"That after taste is a bitch" -- Corb (There's one you don't want taken out of context!)
"I never thought I'd see the day when we talked about 'washing-your-clothes-tips' on this show.....I think I'll go hang myself during the break!" -- Corb
"I think Paula Poundstone and Ellen should get together on an island somewhere and do comedy infront of people that don't speak english" -- Corb
" I don't need to interact with my food, I just want to eat it." -- Corb
"When I'm 70 or 80, hopefully I'll want to drive my car too and I'll piss everyone off and they can bitch about me.... that's just the way life works." -- Corb (Hey Corb, don't forget to wear a hat!)
"I'm driving my car while talking to you on my cell phone, I'm not wearing my seatbelt, and when I get home, I'm gonna run with the sissors!" -- A Caller commenting on new laws banning cell phones in cars.
"Those subliminal self-help tapes don't work, I listened to them for a couple hours a day for 3 or 4 weeks, and I still thought I sucked!" -- Corb
"Here's a money-maker for ya Corb... you know how
Morgana charges people for her to sit on their laps?
"When you go to prison, your constitutional rights should go down the freakin tube.... who cares what those losers have to say!" -- Corb
"...that sounds like a 3 Stooges episode!"
" After you experience diarrhea, you should wait 2 weeks before you go swimming because you might have a dingleberry with crypto attached to it." -- Corb
"When in doubt, put Sterling's head on it!" -- Kevin in an email answering the question, "What the hell is that?"
"Seeing a little butt crack would have made me smile!" -- Corb
"Funny thing is , people who watch 6 hours of TV tell me I have too much time on my hands. -- Kevin in an email
"If it's illegal to drink-n-drive, how come they build parking lots around bars?" - Eastside Andy
"When you make guys in Vietnam throw up because of your feet... You're doing something!" -- Corb
"I don't think bartenders need to babysit adults at bars, it's just a way for lawyers to make more money." -- Corb
"Saying that guns commit crime is like saying that spoons cause Rosie to gain weight!" -- Corb
"Go ugly early and beat the rush!" -- A caller commenting on his bar room pick-up strategy
"Lesbians don't make babies when they have sex, all they make is blisters!" -- A composite quote, first part by Corb, second half from Lehner
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